I saw eight magpies in a tree,
Two for you and six for me:
One for sorrow, two for mirth,
Three for a wedding, four for a birth:
Five for England, six for France,
Seven for a fiddler, eight for a dance.


Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

Swinging on a gate, swinging on a gate,
Seven little sisters and a brother makes eight.
Seven pretty pinafores and one bow tie,
Fourteen pigtails and one black eye.

Swinging on a gate, swinging on a gate,
Seven little sisters and a brother makes eight.
Seven pretty ribbons and one little cap,
Eight books for school caught up in a strap.

Swinging on a gate, swinging on a gate,
Seven little sisters and a brother makes eight.
The school bell rings, and off they go –
Eight little children all in a row.

Anon.

I went fishing
Took some bait.
Didn’t go early,
Didn’t go late.

Caught eight fishes
To put in my pail.
Seven were mackerel,
But the eighth was a whale.

The seven were easy
To put into the tin,
But that whale caused me trouble
Before I packed him in!

Took my catch home.
What did mother say?
‘Get those eight fish out of here –
We’re having steak today!’

Anon.

As they fished his old plane from the sea
The inventor just chortled with glee.
‘I shall build,’ and he laughed,
‘A submarine craft,
And perhaps it will fly. We shall see.’

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

Jack Hall

Jack Hall,
He is so small,
A mouse could eat him,
Hat and all.

Anon.

There was an old woman

There was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
And if she’s not gone
She lives there still.

Anon.

The Man Who Wasn’t There

As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today –
Oh, how I wish he’d go away.

Anon.

Peter Prim

‘Peter Prim! Peter Prim!
Why do you in stockings swim?
Peter Prim gave this reply,
‘To make such fools as you ask why!’

Anon.


Epitaph

Here lies a greedy girl, Jane Bevan,
Whose breakfasts hardly ever stopped.
One morning at half past eleven
She snapped and crackled and then popped.

Anon.

I eat peas with honey

I eat peas with honey;
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife

Anon.


Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

The man in the wilderness asked of me
‘How many strawberries grow in the sea?’
I answered him as I thought good,
‘As many red herring as grow in the wood.’

Anon.

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

As I was going out one day
My head fell off and rolled away.
But when I saw that it was gone,
I picked it up and put it on

And when I got into the street
A fellow cried: ‘Look at your feet!’
I looked at them and sadly said:
‘I’ve left them both asleep in bed!’

By Anonymous

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

Diddle, diddle, dumpling,
My son John
Went to bed
With his stockings on:
One shoe off and the other on:
Diddle, diddle, dumpling,
My son John.

By Anonymous

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

A knight and a lady
Went riding one day
Far into the forest,
Away, away.

‘Fair knight’, said the lady
‘I pray, have a care.
This forest is evil –
Beware, beware!’

A fiery red dragon
They spied on the grass;
The lady wept sorely,
Alas! Alas!

The knight slew the dragon,
The lady was gay.
They rode on together,
Away, away.


Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

Misty-moisty was the morn,
Chilly was the weather;
There I met an old man
Dressed all in leather.
Dressed all in leather
Against the wind and rain,
With ‘how do you do?’ and ‘how do you do?’
And ‘how do you do?’ again.


Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please