Step on a crack,
You’ll break your mother’s back;
Step on a line
You’ll break your father’s spine. 

Step in a ditch,
Your mother’s nose will itch;
Step in the dirt
You’ll tear your father’s shirt

Traditional American
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Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

See more variations in the comments or if you know a different version then please share

I went fishing
Took some bait.
Didn’t go early,
Didn’t go late.

Caught eight fishes
To put in my pail.
Seven were mackerel,
But the eighth was a whale.

The seven were easy
To put into the tin,
But that whale caused me trouble
Before I packed him in!

Took my catch home.
What did mother say?
‘Get those eight fish out of here –
We’re having steak today!’

Anon.

Jack Hall

Jack Hall,
He is so small,
A mouse could eat him,
Hat and all.

Anon.

There was an old woman

There was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
And if she’s not gone
She lives there still.

Anon.

The Man Who Wasn’t There

As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today –
Oh, how I wish he’d go away.

Anon.

Peter Prim

‘Peter Prim! Peter Prim!
Why do you in stockings swim?
Peter Prim gave this reply,
‘To make such fools as you ask why!’

Anon.


Epitaph

Here lies a greedy girl, Jane Bevan,
Whose breakfasts hardly ever stopped.
One morning at half past eleven
She snapped and crackled and then popped.

Anon.

I eat peas with honey

I eat peas with honey;
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife

Anon.


Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

The man in the wilderness asked of me
‘How many strawberries grow in the sea?’
I answered him as I thought good,
‘As many red herring as grow in the wood.’

Anon.

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dumb boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
Came and arrested those two dumb boys.

Traditional American

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour
    For while he was able,
    He slept on a table,
That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
 
There was an Old Person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue Clover:
    But some very large bees
    Stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.

There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
     So she had it made sharp,
     And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

There was a Young Lady of Norway,
Who casually sat in a doorway;
     When the door squeezed her flat,
     She exclaimed, ‘What of that?’
This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

Edward Lear

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

As I was going out one day
My head fell off and rolled away.
But when I saw that it was gone,
I picked it up and put it on

And when I got into the street
A fellow cried: ‘Look at your feet!’
I looked at them and sadly said:
‘I’ve left them both asleep in bed!’

By Anonymous

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please

Diddle, diddle, dumpling,
My son John
Went to bed
With his stockings on:
One shoe off and the other on:
Diddle, diddle, dumpling,
My son John.

By Anonymous

Funny Poems for Kids - Funny, crazy and silly poems for the classroom, home or wherever you please